Tag Archives: experience

How did I get here?

21 Thursday May 2026

Posted by in Personal, Uncategorized

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And, where is here?

A friend sent me a link to this blog in a text thread we were having, quite out of the blue, just the other day, with a note that read something along the lines of, “What an archive!” And he’s right. What an archive. It’s also been quite a while since I’ve posted anything and part of that is because I’m not sure what I would say. So, I’m going to keep this pretty simple.

I’m still gay. I love Jesus. I love liturgy and music. And I’m really tired of supposedly straight guys telling me what I should or should not think about in my spare time in regards to men, especially since most of my precious few moments of spare time revolve around music, not men.

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Friendship and Love

04 Saturday Jun 2016

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I graduated from seminary in May, 2015, but I still live in town. I keep up with seminary friends who are still in classes, so a group of us get together regularly at a local dive bar for cheap beer and toasted ravioli. (If you’ve not heard of it before, it’s deep fried, breaded ravioli. Marvelous stuff. It’s a St. Louis thing.)

One of my friends told me about a guy who was going to come to the bar to hang out with the group. “He’s in his early 30s, gay, celibate, and a Christian,” said my friend. I have to admit that I thought, “Early 30s and celibate? He’s probably awkward and ugly.” Continue reading →

Seminary Is Over

03 Wednesday Jun 2015

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10423653_10101741629732194_2341153165430310690_nAfter a long dry-spell of writing, I’m back. I’ve had a five-year journey through seminary–a journey which has been one of the wildest, life-changing journeys anyone could hope to take. I was remarking to someone just the other day that I basically don’t even recognize the person I was when I started seminary. This may come as a shock to family members who may not see much if any difference at all, but my theory is that family members tend not to see who you are; they’re too busy presuming you’re who you’ve been…but that’s another blog post for another time.

At the end of a momentous occasion like that, folks tend to ask me what I’ve learned, what’s different, what’s changed. Here’s a list. It’s not exhaustive–that would make for bad blogging. It’s not even prioritized–it’s just a handful of things which I’ve observed in myself and others. Continue reading →

“Just repent.”

12 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by in Personal, Scripture, Theology

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“Just repent.”

The assumption seems to be that attraction is the same as lust. Feeling attraction for someone of the same gender must be lust, right? In fact, some of these comments from others seem to indicate that they themselves feel that if they (as a straight man, for example) were to feel attraction to a woman that it would undoubtedly be classified as “lust.”

Really? Is that really the sort of men and women which populate the Church? Have we created men and women who have no idea how to understand love apart from sex, affection apart from marriage, and attraction apart from dating? Continue reading →

A Consideration of Struggle

15 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Christianity, Personal, Theology

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A couple of days ago, one of my classmates sent me a PM through Twitter, asking me my thoughts about Andrew Wilson’s recent piece for ThinkTheology. We PMed back and forth on the subject, but as I was at work (sorry, boss), I couldn’t think it through as it deserved. Now seemed like a good time.

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Why are scary movies scary?

29 Saturday Dec 2012

Posted by in Theology

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And now, for something completely different…

Someone brought my attention to this video…I found it very interesting and wanted to make some brief comments on it.


So, I think something else could be added. Why exactly do people fear the aliens coming and exercising retribution for all the things we’ve done wrong?

The short answer is, that sort of judgment-scenario is evidence of the imago Dei; the stamp or image of our Creator. We understand “doing wrong,” even if we try to rationalize it away…and while we want other bad people to get what’s coming to them, we fear getting what’s coming to ourselves.

So really, scary movies are scary, at least in part, because we fear God’s judgment on some basement-level in our being.

Far-fetched? Thoughts?

PS: How does something like Phantom of the Opera work? It takes place in a city. Or does it? I mean, the basement of the opera house isn’t exactly an urban setting…maybe it’s the surrogate wilderness!

Lon Chaney, Sr., and Mary Philbin in the 1925 Phantom film. Yes, 1925--not the 1929 remake. I know my screenshots when I see them.

Lon Chaney, Sr., and Mary Philbin in the 1925 Phantom film. Yes, 1925–not the 1929 remake. I know my screenshots when I see them.

Is Chastity Futile?

23 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Theology

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Is Christian practice of chastity futile? Chastity is, culturally speaking, fairly peculiar as a life behavior. In the rare instances that one finds the broader, western/American culture endorsing chastity, it is for selfish reasons: “Wait to have sex until you’re ready. Find someone you love or at least find attractive.”

In generations previous to ours, there was a sense of shame from the community. “If I have a child out of wedlock, the neighbors will talk. I don’t want them to think I am a whore (or, if a man, a “cad,” perhaps).” This is no longer a concern for most people, having been replaced with a concern for personal pleasure.

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Spending Time with Others

19 Friday Oct 2012

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Two days ago, I got to spend some time with some good friends at Buffalo Wild Wings watching the Cards game on FOX. It was quality programming, even if it did have a 3 1/2 hour rain delay. And we won!

At 7:30, I packed up my stuff and went to another friend’s house for the first time and did some reading for Church History. He has some of the same passions I do…we both nerd out on old books and love to talk about theology and liturgy. He and I talked about a wide variety of topics…and yes, we did study. But we had a great several hours to hang out and get to know each other better.

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What Christ Says about What I Do in the Bedroom, part 2

27 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by in Personal, Theology

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Repentance.

Not a self-punishing ritual, but a ritual of turning away from sin and turning toward Christ.

Whether I sin while sleeping alone or if I sleep with someone else out of wedlock, I need repentance to mark my life.

I need the grace of forgiveness which comes from Christ’s sacrificial death to be applied to me on a daily, hourly basis.

Even my thoughts about others–my bitterness, my lust, my anger, my judgmentalism–need to be subjected to this repentance. God’s kingdom extends even to my bed…and fornication is not the only sin that can happen in one’s bed. Not by a long shot.

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