Tag Archives: friendship

Jesus Likes Me, This I Know

22 Friday Jan 2021

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Hey all…I know it’s been a while. Lots of COVID-related emotional down-ness (I’m a hyer-extrovert) and working on projects when I’m able (I’m scoring a silent film from 1925 at present), so I’m trying to keep busy. I’ll do a full personal update soon.

Someone recently asked me what I would tell my 16 year old self knowing what I know now. Here’s what I answered, edited for clarity (I hope):

Yes, I know this is a deep cut. If you get it, you get it.
  • That Jesus loves and LIKES him.
  • That at 38, he has more friends than he can imagine
  • That his sexuality is a precious gift and is a reason he has so many friends

Someone else asked me to talk more about the first point, so this is what I wrote:

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St. Aelred Liturgy 2020

17 Friday Jan 2020

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A COLLECT

Reader: Loving God, you have lived among us and you have called us friends. Inspire us through the life of your servant Aelred to create relationships that show forth the intimate embrace of sacred love. Grant that the witness of our loving relationships may draw all people into the embrace of your unbounded love, through Jesus Christ, who loved as we love.
People: Amen.

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The Love of God

19 Saturday May 2018

Posted by in Christianity, Scripture, Theology

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St. Aelred lays out a template for Spiritual Friendship in his book of the same name. He cautions his readers that in order to have close, spiritual friendship, everything about the relationship must be founded upon the love of God. He cautions that we must be especially careful that whatever we build atop this foundation fits with it. Whatever doesn’t fit the foundation must be corrected, using that foundation of the love of God as a template. In other words, if the building hangs over the sides of the foundation, bad stuff will happen.

Recently, I was discussing this passage with some folks one evening recently and I asked, “What does the love of God look like in practical terms?” Continue reading →

Mourn with those who mourn

23 Thursday Mar 2017

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I think often of Washed and Waiting, a book which has helped me a great deal in the last seven years of my walk with Christ. In it, Wesley Hill talks about his loneliness even in the midst of the crowd. If one were to examine Wesley’s Meyers-Briggs against mine, I’m willing to bet we’d test differently. Wes’ and my personalities more than likely create situations where one of us might be drained while the other was being recharged. The experience of loneliness and desperation, however, are not tied to one’s personality. They are very nearly universal in the lives of those who are human. Continue reading →

Friendship and Love

04 Saturday Jun 2016

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I graduated from seminary in May, 2015, but I still live in town. I keep up with seminary friends who are still in classes, so a group of us get together regularly at a local dive bar for cheap beer and toasted ravioli. (If you’ve not heard of it before, it’s deep fried, breaded ravioli. Marvelous stuff. It’s a St. Louis thing.)

One of my friends told me about a guy who was going to come to the bar to hang out with the group. “He’s in his early 30s, gay, celibate, and a Christian,” said my friend. I have to admit that I thought, “Early 30s and celibate? He’s probably awkward and ugly.” Continue reading →

“Just repent.”

12 Thursday Mar 2015

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“Just repent.”

The assumption seems to be that attraction is the same as lust. Feeling attraction for someone of the same gender must be lust, right? In fact, some of these comments from others seem to indicate that they themselves feel that if they (as a straight man, for example) were to feel attraction to a woman that it would undoubtedly be classified as “lust.”

Really? Is that really the sort of men and women which populate the Church? Have we created men and women who have no idea how to understand love apart from sex, affection apart from marriage, and attraction apart from dating? Continue reading →

A Consideration of Struggle

15 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Christianity, Personal, Theology

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A couple of days ago, one of my classmates sent me a PM through Twitter, asking me my thoughts about Andrew Wilson’s recent piece for ThinkTheology. We PMed back and forth on the subject, but as I was at work (sorry, boss), I couldn’t think it through as it deserved. Now seemed like a good time.

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On the Pubcast!

17 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by in Christianity, Personal, Politics, Theology

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Tanner & Les.

Tanner & Les.

Two really cool guys had me on their podcast (The Reformed Pubcast) recently. They’re Calvinists who talk about Arminians, theology, and beer. But at minute 23 of this week’s podcast, they talked with me about being Gay and Evangelical.

The reaction on the blog has been mixed, but I think is largely good. I have a sense that hearing from a real-life Calvinist who wrestles with his sexuality and identifies as gay (but with the qualification that he is celibate unless he marries a woman at some point) is utterly foreign territory to some. That’s ok…and if you’re visiting from the Pub, welcome!

One question I was asked on the Facebook group has to do with whether or not the word “love” can be used for me to talk about those to whom I’m attracted. I’m well aware of popular Calvinistic teachers who do not like for the word “love” be associated with anything same-sex related. However, since I was asked why I used the word love, this is what I replied. I share it here because I imagine that there are many people who would secretly ask the same question.

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When I look in the mirror…

26 Saturday Oct 2013

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That gay men are often vain is nothing revelatory. The latest styles of outer or under-wear, designed to make the most of whatever God’s given us body-wise tend to fill our closets and hang on our bodies. There’s nothing quite like the feel of a new pair of shoes or a well-designed suit on one’s body…not merely seeing a photograph of it, but actually wearing it.

I’ve loved clothes for a long time. I remember when I went to college, my goal became to own clothes that I really loved…a goal I finally achieved after college when I had my first ‘real’ job.

But one of the reasons I love clothes is that they hide a body of which I am ashamed.

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Friends and brothers

04 Thursday Jul 2013

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I’m house-sitting for a few days, watching dogs and eating the owners’ food. Well, sort of. I ordered out for Chinese last night.

I got two phone calls yesterday which affected me greatly. The first was from a ministry director whom I’ve never met. I’ve applied to work with the organization he represents and I filled out an application. It had many questions on it, but one of them was something like this:

Have you done anything in the last ten years which could be considered worthy of reproach in your conduct?

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