Tag Archives: emotions

Friendship and Love

04 Saturday Jun 2016

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I graduated from seminary in May, 2015, but I still live in town. I keep up with seminary friends who are still in classes, so a group of us get together regularly at a local dive bar for cheap beer and toasted ravioli. (If you’ve not heard of it before, it’s deep fried, breaded ravioli. Marvelous stuff. It’s a St. Louis thing.)

One of my friends told me about a guy who was going to come to the bar to hang out with the group. “He’s in his early 30s, gay, celibate, and a Christian,” said my friend. I have to admit that I thought, “Early 30s and celibate? He’s probably awkward and ugly.” Continue reading →

“Just repent.”

12 Thursday Mar 2015

Posted by in Personal, Scripture, Theology

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“Just repent.”

The assumption seems to be that attraction is the same as lust. Feeling attraction for someone of the same gender must be lust, right? In fact, some of these comments from others seem to indicate that they themselves feel that if they (as a straight man, for example) were to feel attraction to a woman that it would undoubtedly be classified as “lust.”

Really? Is that really the sort of men and women which populate the Church? Have we created men and women who have no idea how to understand love apart from sex, affection apart from marriage, and attraction apart from dating? Continue reading →

A Consideration of Struggle

15 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by in Christianity, Personal, Theology

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A couple of days ago, one of my classmates sent me a PM through Twitter, asking me my thoughts about Andrew Wilson’s recent piece for ThinkTheology. We PMed back and forth on the subject, but as I was at work (sorry, boss), I couldn’t think it through as it deserved. Now seemed like a good time.

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Exhaustion from…emotions?

13 Wednesday Nov 2013

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In my counseling class at seminary, we’ve been talking about family dynamics. It’s been a tough discussion, what with all of the talk about abuse, narcissistic families, borderline personality disorder and digging into one’s own story.

It’s especially tough when some of what the class dredges up is your own story, your own anxiety, your own muck.

I see a counselor regularly. I had a two hour session today. It was one of the hardest two hours I’ve ever experienced. What I didn’t exactly anticipate was my utter exhaustion after the session.

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The Desperation of Being Emotional

31 Friday May 2013

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Most days I need to hear that there is, in fact, a point to my struggles with sexuality and emotion.

Most days it feels like there isn’t.

Here’s something that will shock my friends: I’m an emotional guy. I’ve always known this, but for a long time I didn’t understand what was happening when emotions would show up, unannounced and often unwelcomed, on my doorstep. I felt them as they assaulted me (or so it sometimes seems), but I wasn’t always sure from whence they came and whither they were going.

Lately, I’ve been much more able to allow myself to think through and allow myself to experience the pain of emotion. My counselor assures me that my ability to feel is a wonderful gift. Most days, however, I’d rather grab this gift and drop it off somewhere, like the white elephant gift I got at a Christmas party that I didn’t really want. Emotion on many days just seems like pain–who wants that sort of life?

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The Changing of the Weather

13 Wednesday Mar 2013

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I wrote this short post back on Jan. 30th, but never posted it for some reason. Decided I’d post it now, mostly because I have been thinking again about things I haven’t taken the time to mourn. Today isn’t overcast…it’s sunny and chilly. And yet, I still feel down.

It’s truly amazing how much difference three days can make. Two days ago, it was sunny at 61 at 11 am. Yesterday, it was in the low 70s and overcast. Today, it’s snowing off and on and below freezing. I grew up here, so you’d think I’d be used to it. The adage is true: if you don’t like the weather in the midwest, wait five minutes: it’ll change.

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