04 Monday Jul 2011
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Because of recent events in my life, a few of the lines struck me with special force when I read this poem, originally posted by Scotty Smith.
(James Meikle, May 24, 1757)
All plenitude is in Christ, to answer all the needs
of His people. In Christ dwells all the fullness of
the Godhead bodily, that out of His fullness I may
receive all spiritual blessings!
14 Tuesday Jun 2011
Posted in Personal
An interesting article in the Times:
… This will come as a shock to — among others — my male former partner of ten years, gay pals from my former media career, my rabidly heterosexual chums in the aviation industry and, not least, my family (who rather hoped I was going through a phase — albeit for about 20 years). Well, it’s come as a shock to me, too.
I once attended the nuptials of a gay male friend to a girl with whom he had unexpectedly fallen head over heels in love. It was a curious affair: the wedding party was peopled with his ex-lovers — including me, the best man and even the vicar. There is a risk that a wedding guest list of mine could have the same casting issues.
Read the rest here. Thoughts on the entire article?
08 Wednesday Jun 2011
04 Saturday Jun 2011
Posted in Personal
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My brother is married at 25. Just got married today. Best wedding ceremony I’ve ever heard or been to. Had a great time singing and, yes, even dancing.
But I am single. And it hurts right now. I even had to spend a great deal of effort keeping my eyes to myself. There were a few attractive guys at the reception and that’s always an interesting experience.
And I have a lot of anxiety about a wide variety of things at the moment.
What does the Gospel say about all of this?
03 Friday Jun 2011
Posted in Personal
Disclaimer: I don’t know about other strugglers’ personal space, and I’m certain that some folks are uncomfortable with hugs and physical touch. In writing this post, I’m simply conveying my own desires and how they help and hurt my own walk with Christ.
Last night, I went with some seminary folks to a brewery here in town where they serve $2 pitchers on Thursday nights. It’s becoming tradition to sit and talk about one’s week over a glass or two of beer and relax with friends. The conversation is always animated and a lot of fun.
Two guys who are friends but whom I haven’t seen in a while were there. We got caught up on each others’ lives and laughed a little, talked seriously a little. At the end of the night, the two of them hugged me goodbye. Reader, that may seem like a small gesture to you, but it isn’t insignificant to me.
30 Monday May 2011
Posted in Uncategorized
An excellent lecture about the necessity of the Church being the family of God to those who wrestle with being single or homosexuality.
HT: Wesley Hill
26 Thursday May 2011
Tags
1 John, assurance of pardon, confession, homosexuality, loneliness, Paul, prayer, relationships, repentance, Scripture, theology
Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world— the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.
–1 John 2:15-17, ESV
And yet again, I’m struck by the way the Scriptures read me. They say things about me that I would never want anyone to know.
The desires of the flesh, desires of the eyes, and pride in possessions–these are my sins. Obviously, they aren’t my only sins. Still, they represent a large quantity of the presence of sin in my life. And with one mind, double-mindedly, I want those things and I want them removed. I find myself in the classical Pauline Dilema, a la Romans 7 all over again. That which I do not want to do, I do. That which I want to do, I do not.
I see things…and I want them. I see a nice set of furniture…an expensive turntable…a nicer car. By grace I’m learning to want Christ more.
I desire physical touch (even inappropriate touch) and sometimes it’s an idolatrous desire. Physical touch isn’t bad, nor do I think I have to somehow deprive myself of it for aesthetic reasons. Simply put, I crave it more than I want God’s design for me, which is chastity (since I’m single).
23 Monday May 2011
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Just finished an arrangement of a hymn I wrote that will be introduced for corporate worship during the offertory next month. I never quite know what to make of what I create, least of all, this particular hymn.
I am, in my own estimation, a very frustrated lyricist. This particular hymn seems to be something which is an anomaly, since I’m actually pleased with the lyrics as they stand. I may add a verse to what I currently have at some point, but beyond that I like what I’ve written. I wrote the first three verses while my pastor preached out of Psalm 1 and wrote the final verse while sitting beside a lake later that afternoon. I’m glad I live in an age of podcasts so I could go back and listen to what the pastor actually said. 😉
19 Thursday May 2011
Posted in Theology
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When you were few in number, and of little account, and sojourners in it, wandering from nation to nation, from one kingdom to another people, he allowed no one to oppress them; he rebuked kings on their account, saying, “Touch not my anointed ones, do my prophets no harm!”
–1 Chronicles 16:19-22, ESV.
When the ark of the covenant was placed in the tent in Jerusalem after it had been returned from captivity in Philistia, David sang this as part of his song of praise.
How often do we find ourselves thanking God for His provision and protection of the saints of old? Of the children of Israel? David was more than a couple generations removed from Moses or even Abraham. And yet he sets his praise of God in the context of God’s acts prior to his birth! And yet, he sings of God’s faithfulness.
Something I love about the liturgy of the word at my church: we often end a Scripture reading with the statement, “This is the Word of the Lord. This is our story. Thanks be to God!” The story of the wandering Israelites, the sojourning family of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the story of David dancing before the ark–this is our story. God’s provision of redemption for his specific people is the story of the Church.
17 Tuesday May 2011
My second semester of seminary is now complete. Not entirely sure what my final grades are, but they are expected to be As and Bs. I’m more concerned with an estimation of my capability of being able to engage material meaningfully (of which a grade is part) than simply the grade for its own sake.
I seem to have lost a friend. This friend says I didn’t do anything to him to cause him to not want to hang out with me, but I’m at a loss as to why he felt the need to say anything at all if his revulsion to my public declarations about problematic theology-pushers is not tied to my friendship with him. At this point, I doubt very much that I will ever see him again. I grieve that…I thought he was a good friend. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing if that was actually the case.
On the other hand, I’ve gained a great deal of excellent friends at seminary. One of them told me recently that he’d fight for me in any way that he could, through defending me to others or to encouraging me personally. Another told me that even if I was attracted to him that he would want to walk with me through that and would want to maintain my friendship. Still another told me about how he feels so needy sometimes that no one would want to hang out with him if they knew. This last statement was shocking to me, in that I’ve suspected that about myself for quite some time. In all of these things relationships (and others I haven’t mentioned), I’ve seen God provide for my loneliness and well-being.
Perhaps I’ll continue some thoughts later, but I think it sufficient to say that I have grown in my love for the gospel over this past year. I love my seminary and both the students and faculty have helped me continue in the life of repentance that the gospel provides.
Gay and Evangelical 
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