My second semester of seminary is now complete. Not entirely sure what my final grades are, but they are expected to be As and Bs. I’m more concerned with an estimation of my capability of being able to engage material meaningfully (of which a grade is part) than simply the grade for its own sake.
I seem to have lost a friend. This friend says I didn’t do anything to him to cause him to not want to hang out with me, but I’m at a loss as to why he felt the need to say anything at all if his revulsion to my public declarations about problematic theology-pushers is not tied to my friendship with him. At this point, I doubt very much that I will ever see him again. I grieve that…I thought he was a good friend. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing if that was actually the case.
On the other hand, I’ve gained a great deal of excellent friends at seminary. One of them told me recently that he’d fight for me in any way that he could, through defending me to others or to encouraging me personally. Another told me that even if I was attracted to him that he would want to walk with me through that and would want to maintain my friendship. Still another told me about how he feels so needy sometimes that no one would want to hang out with him if they knew. This last statement was shocking to me, in that I’ve suspected that about myself for quite some time. In all of these things relationships (and others I haven’t mentioned), I’ve seen God provide for my loneliness and well-being.
Perhaps I’ll continue some thoughts later, but I think it sufficient to say that I have grown in my love for the gospel over this past year. I love my seminary and both the students and faculty have helped me continue in the life of repentance that the gospel provides.