I’m just about as insecure as the next guy. I mean, I hold my own in a discussion, I conduct choirs and orchestras with a minimum of challenges, I speak in front of groups about the Bible with no trouble at all, I can even handle a classroom full of junior high kids for 80 minutes at a time.
But I’ve never gotten past the idea I have about my being physically undesirable. It’s terribly difficult to put myself in situations to ask out girls (which I’ve done three times in my life, being shot down very recently without even as much as a second hearing). I just never think any girl alive (or even guy for that matter) would ever want me. I would categorize myself as clumsy and awkward, even though most people would probably label me as confident.
So when a guy gives me attention, whether it’s questionable or not, I tend to freak out a little. If it’s overt and crass, it’s very easy to dismiss. But if it’s more subtle and relational…that’s a bit more of a challenge.
This is not just my problem as a man attracted to other men. Some of my straight friends have echoed their insecurities and their susceptibility to attention from, in their case, the opposite sex. So what’s a man to do?
First, and probably hardest, is to flee the temptation. When you feel starved for affection (and I’m not just talking physical here, folks), it’s hard to push that away. It doesn’t always involve running and screaming from the room, either. What it does seem to involve is removing oneself at the very least emotionally and by making that tough decision to live out of the Gospel: that is, to renounce one’s sinful desires for the one through whom our sanctification comes, namely, Christ. This isn’t a rejection borne of behavior modification, but rather one which is a fruit of repentance which will demonstrate itself in the life of the believer. This is crucial. Anything else is simply a white-washed white-knuckled affair that is not biblical repentance.
Second, is confession of sin. Confession of sin to others is vital. It helps to keep one free of the enticing comfort of secret sin. Secret sin seems all the more sweet because one can appear to be a wonderful, upstanding saint if no one knows the dark recesses of one’s depravity. Confession also keeps us humble, for by shining the light of accountability into the dark corners of our soul, we can never begin to think we’re pulling this Christian life off without a hitch. Indeed, we will be shown the opposite and such ugliness will drive us to the feet of Him who washed us in His blood.
The Gospel is everything. Repent and believe that Christ died for your sin. I’m not appealing to your will…I’m making an incredible statement which, if the Lord sees fit, will be used by the Spirit to regenerate someone.