I am in love with someone. This will not go anywhere because he and I both have said it won’t.
One of my friends thinks I should find a girl to date. I don’t think that would be fair to a girl since my heart wouldn’t be hers…at least, not for a while while I sort through my love for another guy.
This doesn’t seem fair…but am I shutting myself off to meeting a girl that I would delight in?
Gay and Evangelical 
This blog post came to mind in relation to your question about shutting yourself off from meeting a girl that you might delight in. Maybe not directly applicable, but it came to mind.
http://www.peter-ould.net/2009/03/12/is-alan-chambers-wrong/
We should talk again soon. I appreciate you, bro. And I empathize with the love that you feel.
Interesting question and one I have often pondered… I have a friend who wants to set me up with his sister. At first I considered telling him that she probably wouldn’t be my type i.e. tall, dark and handsome, but then I thought that it couldn’t hurt just to meet her. I have been toying with the idea of “dating” being more of a gender neutral thing where two people can explore emotional/spiritual compatibility whether or not there is an initial physical attraction. Physical dimensions may develop naturally from those associations, or they may not, and that’s ok too. I guess I would turn the question around and ask, “Is it fair for her to expect that upon meeting her that you fall so madly in love that you forget about every other crush you’ve ever had?”
As for falling in love goes… In my experience we have very little control over the who/why/where and how long of a crush. It would be unfortunate if you felt you had to be completely crush-free before you decided to explore other relationships with both men and women. Granted, you may need some time to process things, but don’t wait too long or else it’ll be the Second Coming of Jesus before you ever speak to a girl 🙂
Haha…this brought a smile to my face. 🙂 You’re right, of course. I don’t know that I have to be crush-free per se…but, as you said, I think I want some time to process things before I move on. I don’t like the phrase “get over” because I don’t particularly WANT to “get over” this guy. Rather, I want to love him appropriately and work through the sinful parts as they come along.
“I am in love with someone. This will not go anywhere because he and I both have said it won’t.”
The way your church has stunted your emotional and moral development is extremely saddening.
Stunted my emotional growth? In what way? How does saying I will or won’t do something indicate anything except mastery of self?
Quite the judgment there, Boz… I thought it was just us Christians who were judgmental 😉
we’re all judgemental.
I wish I knew…