Tag Archives: sexuality

Should the Church ask for forgiveness from gays?

02 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by in Theology

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Much of what passes as “Christian love” irks me…and worse yet, most of it is stuff I’ve done. From telling people ambiguous statements like, “Gay is a choice” to “Jesus is the answer,” the American evangelical church has made some colossal blunders in the past 70 years.

But the guys over at One Minute Apologist have done a video with renowned Christian apologist, Dr. Michael Brown, asking the question this post centers around: should the Church ask for forgiveness from gays? (Spoiler alert: the answer Dr. Brown gives is yes.

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Transforming the Conversation

30 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by in Theology

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On April 12 & 13, 2012, Ron Belgau and Justin Lee spoke at Pepperdine University on the issues of LGBT issues in a Christian context. This is an important discussion for the Church to have. We need to teach and exhort with humility and not be afraid to say what the Scripture says. The explanatory blurbs below were sent to me by Ron Belgau and were originally published in the program for the event at Pepperdine.

Discontent

02 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by in Personal, Scripture, Theology

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"For I am content..." (Philippians 4:11)

Sometimes I fear how God will teach me this lesson.

Today, a friend expressed a desire to move on to the next phase of life and ministry, saying he was tired of being a student and couldn’t wait to be done. I was frustrated because seminary is where God has called us. Why would we want to hurry God’s work? I sure don’t. And when I tried to point that out, it wasn’t well received. Maybe I said something wrongly.

I was sitting at a coffee shop a few days ago and really struggled to keep my mind on my work. Will temptation always be this strong? I wondered. I was sitting at another coffee shop today and thought, Yeah…if today is any indication, it will be.

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On Loneliness and Training to Be a Pastor

29 Sunday Jan 2012

Posted by in Personal, Theology

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In his book The Mission of God, Christopher Wright discusses the knowledge of God that Israel had in the Old Testament, specifically in His acting by delivering them through the means of a pagan king who had no allegiance to Yahweh.

[I]f Israel should be inclined to protest at the means by which God would bring about their deliverance (i.e., through a pagan king who did not even know YHWH, yet is provocatively described as YHWH’s “shepherd” and “anointed”), they would do well to remember who it was they presumed to argue with–the Creator of the universe.

“Concerning things to come, do you question me…? It is I who made the earth and created mankind upon it. My own hands have stretched out the heavens; I marshaled their starry hosts. I will raise up Cyrus in my righteousness:…He will rebuild my city and set my exiles free” (Isaiah 45:11-13).

So, the reason why God’s planned action for Israel’s deliverance will be spectacularly successful is that it is grounded in his universal sovereignty as Creator. And the effect of that saving action will be to demonstrate the unique identity and status of YHWH to the rest of the world. Israel would do well not to protest, for they have a role to play in that divine agenda. If Israel’s ultimate mission was to be a blessing and a light to the nations, they need to cooperate with God’s means of executing that purpose, whether they approved of it or not. (from The Mission of God, pg. 90)

I complain to God fairly often about the means by which he brings about my deliverance. I presume to argue all the time with the Creator of the universe. Surely, He could’ve cooked up a better scenario than me being disposed to crushing hard on my friends and having to pick myself up from those emotionally charged situations, bravely continuing friendships with those whom I’ve crushed on and legitimately love. He could’ve at least made it easier for me to be physically attracted to a girl who was once very interested in me, but whose interest seems to have waned. It’s painful, really–all of it. Continue reading →

What if there was a girl?

24 Monday Oct 2011

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There sort of is. I’ve taken a wonderful young lady out on several dates in the last month and a half or so. I enjoy being with her and she seems to enjoy being with me. She not only endured watching Metropolis at my house a couple months ago–she actually seemed to like it. (Artsy and fun? Whodathunkit??)

I want to do right by her. I want to see if my affections continue to grow. She loves Jesus, is really smart, sensitive, sassy, and seems to be able to shoulder my opinionatedness. (I don’t think that’s a word, but if the Germans can take a bunch of words or word parts and string them together, I can too.)

I got a text message from a good friend of mine who has liked me for a very long time. I’d lay odds he is waiting around for my theology to change so he can date me. I told him that I was dating a girl and that I needed to explore this relationship. The response I received was something along the lines of we both know how this will turn out. I replied, Do we? I’ve been in love with a girl before…why not again? I didn’t get a response. I’m not here to psychologize why I did or didn’t get a reply to that; instead, I’m here to say that I’m getting some push-back from my gay friends now that I’m considering seriously dating a girl. Continue reading →

Out of a Far Country

03 Wednesday Aug 2011

Posted by in Book Discussion

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Christopher Yuan

A review of Christopher Yuan‘s book. A copy of this book was graciously provided by Christopher for the purposes of this review. Thanks, Christopher!

Christopher’s book is certainly a page-turner. Co-written with his mother Angela, it details Christopher’s journey of repentance from rebellion against God to being reconciled to Christ by faith, orchestrated by difficult life experiences and a mother who spent her energies praying for Christopher and learning to love the Gospel. The format itself keeps the pages turning because Christopher and Angela speak in alternating chapters while on the same timeline, which creates a great deal of interest and forward motion to the story.

Christopher does an excellent job walking through the various time frames in which his story is set. When he’s describing the club scene, you can hear the bump of the music deafening you and see the people around. And you can feel the desperation of Angela as she prays for her son to know Christ as his sole sufficiency.

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To Date or Not to Date?

03 Wednesday Aug 2011

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I was reading this article on The Gospel Coalition blog by Matthew Barrett and wondering, will I ever be counted worthy for the joys of marriage? Is that even where my desires are?

I had a good conversation with a brother who wrestles with same-sex attraction who is married. We talked about the dating process and I seemed to get positive feedback on how I’m approaching the idea of going on dates to figure out if I like the girls I’m hanging out with in a variety of contexts.

See, I’ve liked a girl before…enough to desire to date her. If things had progressed, I’d have wanted to marry her. I didn’t just love her as a friend…I desired her in every sense of the word. Now, when you’ve never desired anyone physically who wasn’t male like yourself, you don’t really know what to do with that. But I pursued her quietly but persistently for four years and was shot down each time. We remained friends for a time, but I finally decided it was too painful to keep up communication with her. I still think the world of her, but when she got married, I declined to go to the wedding. I knew I couldn’t handle that emotionally, watching the one girl I’ve ever wanted say “I do” to someone else. Just the thought of it reminds me of the feeling I had when I read the wedding invitation…like my heart was being ripped out from my chest. Maybe that sounds cliche, but it’s the truth.

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Questions from a Pastor

22 Friday Jul 2011

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This morning, an Australian pastor I follow on Twitter asked me two questions about homosexuality because he’s going to be talking about it to his congregation. So I dashed off this email prior to hitting the gym this morning.

1. As a Christian who has same-sex attraction, what are some of your challenges that you face in your daily life?

Because of my orientation, I develop crushes on guys. This should be no surprise, since guys have crushes on and are attracted to girls all the time…and girls, the same with guys. Two things happen: internally, it’s hard to escape condemnation, especially when the guys I’m attracted to are godly men and that’s one of the reasons I like them in the first place. Externally, it’s difficult to be open about just the reality of the crush situation because I fear that it will push away men in my life who will fear that I’ll crush on them at some point, instead of trusting that I can sort it out in community and with God’s help in my sanctification.

I’ve been bullied by other Christians in a couple of ways. Once, I was slandered by a fellow church-member who thought that by telling the world on my mother’s facebook wall that I was a homosexual and that I’d lied to the elders in order to teach Sunday School and lead worship on Sunday mornings that somehow he’d scored a victory for the truth. The reality was that the elders had known I was gay but celibate and had allowed me to serve and lead because of my repentance. But since I’m not “out” everywhere on Facebook to all of my friends, it was hurtful. The man never did apologize and the elders didn’t take action. I left that church, of course.

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There’ll Be Some Changes Made

13 Wednesday Jul 2011

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One of the promises of the Gospel is that we will be conformed to the image of Christ. This is our sanctification and ordinarily looks like our disliking our sin progressively and loving the fact that we are being made holy by the Spirit of Christ. We look progressively like Him. It’s a little more complicated (read: a LOT more complicated) than getting better every day, but that’s sort of a general thrust of the thing.

Last night, I visited a bar and realized I wasn’t very happy while I was there. I was conscious of my inadequacies and my lust. I wanted almost nothing to do with homosexuality, while at the same time wanting everything to do with it. And, as we know, a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. So there was a lot of tension last night between what I wanted and didn’t want, all at the same time.

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The Joys of a Hug (or two)

03 Friday Jun 2011

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Disclaimer: I don’t know about other strugglers’ personal space, and I’m certain that some folks are uncomfortable with hugs and physical touch. In writing this post, I’m simply conveying my own desires and how they help and hurt my own walk with Christ.

Last night, I went with some seminary folks to a brewery here in town where they serve $2 pitchers on Thursday nights. It’s becoming tradition to sit and talk about one’s week over a glass or two of beer and relax with friends. The conversation is always animated and a lot of fun.

Two guys who are friends but whom I haven’t seen in a while were there. We got caught up on each others’ lives and laughed a little, talked seriously a little. At the end of the night, the two of them hugged me goodbye. Reader, that may seem like a small gesture to you, but it isn’t insignificant to me.

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