I went to dinner last night with a couple of guys who are starting seminary with me this fall. I don’t know them very well, but I invited them to join me for a drink at Bar Louie. We had a good time talking about the Gospel and necessity of its clear proclamation.
We also talked about the Church’s response(s) to homosexuality. And we talked about our dating types. One of them asked me mine…and I pretty well shut up. I described the girl I’d liked in college because, in all truthfulness, she does tend to represent an ideal for a potential mate to me. But I wasn’t forthright about my attractions. I hesitated and then back-pedaled.
Why did I do that? Was I afraid of being dismissed? Was it that I don’t want to be “that guy?”
Yes to both, I think.
But if previous rhetoric I’ve used is to be believed, my story isn’t mine…it’s Christ’s. Should I not be willing to be maligned by others in testifying to God’s redemptive work on the cross? Do I really care what these guys think enough to withhold my testimony?
Apparently, I do.
I’m not saying I’ve denied Him. But I certainly placed what people think of me above the greatness of God’s work on my behalf. It was probably along the lines of a sin of omission. But it was most certainly a sin.
The good news is that Christ came to save sinners. Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Ryan Gill said:
I have to wonder about the way the conversation unfolded. I can see the logical connection between talking about seminary and preaching the Gospel, but I think there are a lot of different ways to have a conversation about homosexuality. My general feeling is that how the conversation segued formulated how you characterized your response about your attractions.
I dislike conversations about “dating types,” so I tend to say that I am exploring various celibate relationships.
Ya I agree with practice. It sounds like the way the conversation was framed it made it harder for you to share as from this post it sounds like you were sort of put on the spot about the type of girls you liked.
I am sure you will have a chance to share again with them if you want to!
Dawn K said:
Remember that Christ has put His name on you, Dave, and that you are His. 🙂 I don’t think I can count the number of times I should have spoken and didn’t. But Christ died for real sinners, not imaginary sinners. All I can do is throw myself upon His mercy. Thanks be to God that His mercies are new every morning.
When I think about revealing my SSA to others disclosing it in discussions about interest in girls or relationship status always seems like an appropriate time to bring it up…but then I realise it makes it seem like my homosexuality is the opposite of their heterosexuality, which is obviously going to create interpretations in their mind and it doesn’t seem like such a great idea.
Well, the conversation was a little more naturally flowing than I let on here…so it was workable, but I really did lose my nerve. One of the guys there had a gay friend where he came from that was living chastely and talked positively about that…so likely, I wouldn’t even have been judged harshly. But I still chickened out.
Anyway, I’m not living in condemnation or anything…I recognized it as sin and have confessed to it here (and in prayer) and have heard the sweet assurance of the Gospel.
It is, however, something which should be talked about.
I dunno Dave… I don’t think that you have to talk about yourself in order to have an intelligent conversation about the gospel and homosexuality. In fact, even though you may have “wimped out,” I bet you said some thoughtful, helpful things to your friends.
I think you have the freedom to talk about Christ and rely on his faithfulness to you in order to weather potential adverse reactions whether or not you include Christ’s ministry to you, in particular. (I’ve always wanted to use weather and whether in the same sentence!)
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, bro. I appreciate you.